STOLEN CAR WAS MOST LIKELY STOLEN

October 15, 2019 ·

Owner of the local second hand car business, “Local Second Hand Cars”, has had a rollercoaster past few weeks.

Hot off the heels of a recent mistaken win fall, owner Larry thought he had somehow gained an extra car in his lot.

“I was flabbergasted. Usually I have to buy the cars before I sell them, but this one had just appeared!” Larry boasted to reporters at the time.

The high morale didn’t last long, however, as Larry eventually came to realise he had accidentally counted his own car in the stocktake. “It was a simple mistake.”


But mistakes of surplus stock are one thing, stolen cars are another.

“So I completed a re-count, and whaddya know, I didn’t have one car too many … I have one car too few!”

When asked about which car in particular was stolen, Larry was still unsure. “To be completely honest, a lot of cars come in and out of the yard each year. You can’t expect one man to remember the details of all of them!”

Fortunately, a company policy had been rolled out the previous month, which helped confirm that the missing car was in fact, missing.

“As a new safety precaution, now we keep the licence of the person taking the car for a test drive. You know, so they come back to the yard and don’t go getting any ideas of driving away with our car! Driver licences are very important documents that can’t be faked. Absolutely no-one in their right mind would cheat the system.”

Local police have advised alternative security measures.

“Turns out drivers licences can be copied,” Larry confided, “and the one that was handed to me was about as clever as you can get. I should have known there’s no such person as Faye K. Eyedee.” 

A text message reporting the counterfeit ID was immediately sent out to bouncers of local nightclubs to watch out for similiar copycats. As so far they are yet to reply, but it is unknown if the bouncers are yet to see any such IDs, or if they are smart enough to use a smart phone.

With time, when pressed for more details for the official police report, Larry was able to recall a few more details of the car. An official press release will be sent to all major news outlets in days to follow. For now, The Cow Texas Times has the inside scoop.

If anyone has seen or knows more details about the missing vehicle, they are urged to contact the police station. A lucrative $10 gift card to Drive Thru Curry is currently being offered as a reward.

The car is described to have 4 wheels, windows on each door, and a steering wheel. As to which side the steering wheel is on, Larry says it is “probably on the right side”.

In category:Business
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